Monday, April 9, 2007

Chuckie Watch 121: Revisiting Chuckie

Well, y'all, it's been quite a while since we stopped in to visit ole Chuckie. Eight whole dang months, as a matter of fact!

But being one of the country's leading experts on ChuckieThought and all, I don't see how I can turn down the call of duty.

This week, Chuckie's writin' about
Confrontation 04/09/07.

Chuckie's heard about that there Nancy Pelosi woman goin' over to Syria when Bush done told her not to. And Chuckie don't like it:

As far as I'm concerned Nancy Pelosi's name can be put alongside Jane Fonda as someone who has no trouble delivering a slap to the face of every man and woman serving in the military.

To think that the Speaker of the House of Representatives of the United States would go to a terrorist state, play patty cake with a dictator who is directly or indirectly responsible for the deaths of scores of service men and women serving in Iraq is past disgusting, it's downright sickening.

And all this in defiance of the Commander and Chief.
I hate to be the one to break it to you, Chuckie. But let's start from the bottom and work back up.

First of all, I'm guessing by "Commander and Chief" you mean your Chief and Commander, Dear Leader Bush, Liberator of Peoples and Scourge of the Heathen. And we all understand how you fell about Dear Leader, Chuckie, we really do. We git it.

But, you know, there's this paper called the Constitution. And it's, well, the legal basis that defines our government. I know this seems real abstract and all, but it really works that way!

Now, this Constitution thang defines the President as the Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces when their on active service. Armed forces, that's soldiers and sailors and people like that, Chuckie. Not members of Congress, unless they also happen to be on active duty military service. Pelosi's not. That means Dear Leader ain't her Commander-in-Chief. Or mine, or anybody else's except the active duty armed forces. I mean, unless you just want to adopt him as your own Commander-in-Chief, or Commander and Chief, or Chief Commander, or whatever.

Now about this playing patty cake with dictators and all, I have a request for everybody. Please, don't nobody show Chuckie that photo of Don Rumsfeld shaking Saddam Hussein's hand. Pore ole Chuckie might have a stroke or something.

And, Chuckie, I know you have special contacts in the foreign policy field. But you
must be gittin' behind on your FOX News watching. It's Iran that the Party says is "indirectly responsible for the deaths of scores of service men and women serving in Iraq" and is, you know, all "past disgusting" and "sickening" and stuff. That's IraN, Chuckie, it's on the other side of IraQ. You can call IraN "Persia" if it helps you keep it straight.

But Chuckie, Chuckie, Nancy Pelosi is like "Jane Fonda as someone who has no trouble delivering a slap to the face of every man and woman serving in the military"? Oh, it hurts to have to do this. But we have it
on good authority that Chuckie has praised Jane Fonda his own self! Back when Jane announced that she had had a born-again Christian religious experience, ole Chuckie wrote:
And there will be those in the Christian community who will question your commitment. Yes Jane, you’re probably going to catch it from all sides, from people who are supposed to be your friends. And those, who a few short years ago were lauding you with honors and Academy Awards may very well turn their backs on you. So be it. That’s just the way of the world. What you have received is the most precious thing in existence. What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul. So hold on, Jane. Through criticism, ridicule and doubt. You just keep holding on to Jesus because he is the way the truth and the life. I will bepraying for you Jane. Welcome to the family my sister.
Yes, it's true. Chuckie himself has praised the woman "who has no trouble delivering a slap to the face of every man and woman serving in the military". Yep, back then, Chuckie said, "So hold on, Jane. Through criticism, ridicule and doubt." Even called her "my sister"! Why, Chuckie, why? What will we tell the children?

Chuckie also writes in his current sharing of wisdom:
Some in Congress and the Senate actually wantto set a date for withdrawing the troops from Iraq. That's about the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's like telling a burglar what time you¹ll be leaving your house so he can come in and take every thing you own.
Now, Chuckie, I just ain't that good at analogies. But wouldn't it be a better comparison to say it would be like leaving somebody else's house and leaving the owners of the house there to deal with their home security issues? I'm just sayin'.

Chuckie also says:
The only kind of diplomacy people like Assad and the mullahs in Iraq understand is strength and Pelosi has taken a giant step in demonstrating that there is a breach in the American armor, There are people who had rather placate and run instead of standing and fighting.
Chuckie, I know that Syrians and Iraqis are both Arabs. Well, except for the ones who are Kurdish and stuff. But just because we're fighting Arabs in Iraq doesn't mean that the Syrians are preparing to land commandoes on the East Coast of the US.

Iraq, Syria, Iran, I know they're all Arabs and foreigners and Muslims and so on. You know, except for the Kurds. Well, and the Iranians are mostly Persians. And, they're foreigners to us but they're natives in their own country. The point is, you gotta try to keep up which countries it is we're at war with.

And when I read this:
I guess she has grandiose imaginings of being some great statesman but all she
has done is pour gasoline on the burning determination of the radical maniacs
who have no problem with slaughtering women and children or hacking an infidel's
head off.
Chuckie, you might want to scratch the itch for these kinds of fantasies by going to a horror movie or something instead of stewing it around all which-a-ways in your head. Check out that new double-movie Grindhouse. It has exploding pus-zombies getting gunned down all over the place. It even has a woman with a machine-gun leg! Try it, Chuckie. I bet you'll think it's almost as much fun as listening to 10 hours of Rush Limbaugh at a stretch.

See also my
Chuckie Watch index.

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