It wouldn't be right to let Election Day git here without checking in on ole Chuckie to see what he has to say about it all.
And Chuckie's been a'talkin'. Now, you might think, with him being the wannabe Nashville Guru of Patriotic Correctness, plus a Regnery Publishing political analyst and all, that he would be tellin' us who we should vote for. Well, no, Chuckie ain't even tellin' who he's votin' for. In Voting (10/22/04), he says he's already voted. And he does give us some coy hints about who he may have voted for in the presidential race:
I voted for the candidate whom I feel is best qualified to protect this country from terrorism, who will go fourth in the defense of America and Americans regardless of what some of our so-called allies or the United Nations may think.
Yeah, allies, schm-allies, who needs them dang foreigners anyhow? But I'm not quite sure what Chuckie means about having a president who will go "fourth" in defense of Amurca. I mean, who's gone go first, second and third? Chuckie can be a little deep, sometimes.
I voted for the candidate whom I feel will vigorously protect the five thousand year old institution of marriage being only between one man and one woman, constitutional amendment notwithstanding.
I guess Chuckie don't read all them Old Testament stories about Jacob and Solomon and all those wives they had. And, you know, Chuckie's being pretty philosophical in this one with this "constitutional amendment notwithstanding" thing. Did we just have a constitutional amendment not allowing marriages between one man and one woman? How did I miss that? Gee, maybe I should watch Fox News more often.
I voted for the candidate whom I feel has the most regard for the sanctity of unborn life. I do not believe that abortion is guaranteed anywhere in The Constitution. I voted for the one who signed the bill against partial birth abortion.
Now, who, who, who could Chuckie mean here? Why don't he just come out and say who he voted for?
I voted for the candidate whom I feel will be the best friend to Israel. America is the only true friend Israel has and there are wonderful promises and dire warnings in the Holy Bible concerning the children of Abraham. America’s future could well hang by our treatment of tiny Israel.
"He who blesses you I will bless and He who curses you I will curse.” And if you don’t believe that take it up with God. He is the one who said it.
Gosh, I hope nobody tells Chuckie that Abraham didn't just have children by his wife. He would probably be really shocked to hear about Jacob and Leah and Rachel. I mean, two wives, and they were sisters! Constitutional amendment notwithstanding.
Chuckie is just being way too theoretical for me in this one. I mean, he must have had to spend days scouring through rabbinical texts and Latin theologians' writings to figure out that "He who blesses you I will bless and He who curses you I will curse” really meant "America in 2004 should support any violent and crazy thing Ariel Sharon and the Likud Party do no matter how much damage it does to America or to Israel." Or maybe he's into that "Bible Code" thing from a few years back.
Chuckie took a little break to write a Dissertation [sic] on Turning 68 (10/25/04). Happy birthday, Chuckie. And Chuckie shares some of his hard-earned wisdom with us:
When I realize that we’re four years into the twenty-first century, that the Statue of Liberty, which is fifty years older than I am, is one hundred and eighteen years old and that the kids I used to hold in my lap are now graduating high school, it’s enough to make you stop and think.
Wow, the Statue of Liberty is 118 years old. Think of that. And then Chuckie gives us an important key to understanding his political commentary:
But you should never stop and think for too long.
And I do believe ole Chuckie lives by that advice.
But, happily for us, Chuckie gives us another shot at hearing what he thinks of This Election (10/29/04). But still the mystery of who Chuckie is supporting continues:
Be honest with yourself when you walk into that voting booth. Are you really willing to put the safety of your children and grandchildren into the hands of a man who feels that we have to have approval of the United Nations and the blessings of France and Germany before we can respond to a terrorist attack?
Now I knowthat a lot of you people out there will say that is not what Kerry means, but if he doesn’t mean it he shouldn’t say it.
Uh, Chuckie, he has said that he won't make responding to a terrorist attack dependent on any other country, oh, pretty much every time the subject comes up. Chuckie, you're not telling us Fox News failed to report that, now are you?
Ask yourself whether pulling a fully developed unborn baby’s body out it’s mother’s womb and plunging a sharp pair of scissors into its brain is murder or a constitutional right. John Kerry says it is a constitutional right.
Who, who, who could Chuckie have voted for? I just can't get through this deep theoretical stuff he's tossing out.
Do you want to be forced to abide by the economy ruining Kyoto Accords, a code which very few nations would come close to abiding by but yet the U.S.A. could be fined and castigated for breaking them?
Yeah, I guess being castigated by a Kyoto Accord could be pretty painful.
Do you want to be a citizen of the United States of America or the United States of Planet Earth?
This is an interesting either-or choice: the United States, or Planet Earth? Chuckie seems to think the two are entirely separate places. But then again, those of us in the Coalition of the Reality-Based just don't see things exactly like ole Chuckie and his friends in FoxWorld do, I guess.
And who, who could Chuckie be planning to vote for? I hope he lets us in on the secret someday.