Yo! Ole Chuckie's gittin' ahead of me here. I think he has been on a Saturday-and-Tuesday schedule for a while. But he got his software upgraded or something and now they pop up on time.
Chuckie's been hearin' folks criticizing this here war in Iraq. And Chuckie don't like it. The criticism, I mean. Chuckie's got two more anonymous soldiers' letters he claims are Messages from the Front. Both of them, by coincidence, recycle the Fox News/talk-radio/Freeper justifications of the war.
One of them says, yeah, boy, we gone them there WMDs one of these days. So all them "pantywaist hippies" back home should just shut up. This guy also may have given Chuckie an actual news scoop: "Did Saddam have ties with the Taliban? Hell yes. Who do you think is planting all those roadside bombs? It ain’t Martha Stewart."
The Taliban? We're fighting the Taliban in Iraq? Woah, Chuckie, either you got a hot piece of news here. Or this "soldier's letter" is as phony as the prewar WMD claims!
The other one is not as newsworthy. Although his claim that "the people of Iraq are happy and sleeping in peace tonight" may be just a tiny bit of gilding the lily.
Actually both these letters remind me of this spoof on the alleged al-Qaeda letter that was reported found in Iraq a few days ago:
Dear Mom:
Iraq is really fun, and us guys from al-Qaida are doing great work. I personally have organized 25 suicide attacks already, and Osama bin Laden himself wrote to thank me. It's a great pity that our ally Saddam Hussein didn't get his weapons of mass destruction finished in time for us terrorists to start using them against the infidels, but that's how the cookie crumbles. The dumb Iraqis are all grateful to the Americans and won't help us, but with the help of other foreign terrorists I am now trying to get a civil war going between the Sunnis and the Shias in order to defeat the Americans and their stupid democracy. Gosh, how I hate their freedoms.
Your loving son,
Ahmed
P.S. Thanks for the clean socks.
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