Wednesday, May 2, 2007

May excitement abounds

It's already been an eventful May! Congress sent Bush an Iraq War funding bill with a withdrawal timeline and he's already vetoed it. Despite the fact that the clock is ticking for our troops, he voted against funding for the troops.

And Britney Spears began her
post-rehab public performance "comeback" last night at the House of Blues in San Diego. Not surprisingly, all reliable reports say it was brilliant. Those who are experienced in reading Britney symbolism appreciate the fact that she began her "comeback" on International Workers Day.

Our Dear Leader Bush addressed his loyal subjects about the Iraq War yesterday in Washington:
Remarks by the President to the Associated General Contractors of America 05/02/07. He didn't have anything particularly new to say, though it's always worth noticing what he does say about it just because he's the Decider. It was mostly the same sort of stuff we've heard for over four years, now. Things are going great, with a few small problems here and there, we have to hang in there, freedom is on the march, yadda, yadda. Funny, he didn't mention anything about those "weapons of mass destruction" we went in to find and destroy.

He said we need to give Gen. Petraeus until September before we start judging whether the McCain escalation (The Surge) is succeeding. Then he proceeded to explain all the ways it's supposedly succeeding, and brilliantly so, thanks to his own far-sighted, wise leadership.

Dear Leader also stressed the alleged role of "Al Qaeda" in the Iraq War. He makes it sound like the United States is supporting the Maliki government and the whole Iraqi nation against Al Qaida, who are apparently the masterminds and perpetrators behind nearly every attack in the whole country. He does mention that there are a few Sunni and Shi'a extremists here and there.

Dear Leader said, "And the definition of success as I described is sectarian violence down. Success is not, no violence." He also says that "the number of sectarian murders in Baghdad has dropped substantially" as a result of the McCain escalation. As Bush might phrase it: in other words, sectarian violence is down. That means there's less sectarian violence. Well, mission accomplished, then! He should be able to agree on a withdrawal timetable with Congress sometime this week, don't you think?

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