Friday, September 3, 2004

Potemkin convention Day 4: The short version

Bush's speech, short version.  Actual quotes in italics.

Everything's fine in Iraq.  It's a model of democracy.  But don't blame me for all the problems, because Kerry voted for it, too.  Except the problems aren't that bad.

We'll probably be leaving Afghanistan and Iraq soon.  But I can't tell you when.  Everything's going great in both places, though.  Except for a few ongoing acts of violence here and there.  But only involving people who really want to come over here and kill Americans.  So we're killing them first.  But everything's fine there.

America is the greatest nation on earth and we have a calling from beyond the stars to conduct wars of liberation to free the heathen, no matter how many of them we have to kill to do it.

So we're going to liberate some more nations soon.  Because our country remains the hope of the oppressed, and the greatest force for good on this earth.

Terrorists hate freedom.  God wants us to spread freedom.  So we're going to have to conquer a few more countries because God wants it.  And America can achieve anything.

Here at home, we want to free you from Social Security and consumer protection laws.  And free rich people from those oppressive taxes they pay.

And America is the greatest nation on earth and we have a calling from beyond the stars.  Our country remains the hope of the oppressed, and the greatest force for good on this earth. We can achieve anything.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's wonderful.  And if it had any relation to reality, I might actually like him.  I remember watching his nomination speech in 2000 and thinking that if he meant any of what he said then a Bush presidency might not be so bad.  It didn't take me long to see it was all a ruse!

Anonymous said...

The RNC convention left me with one lasting impression......
<BR>
see it here <a href="http://www.extragalacticsystems.com/images/reminded.jpg">vision for the future</a>.
<BR>
Thanks to Apple computer and Adobe photoshop.
<BR>
berek

Anonymous said...

Okay, sorry for the previous mangled, html-laden text.  I thought this comment reader was smarter than that.

Go here www.extragalacticsystems.com/images/reminded.jpg

to see what I saw in my mind's eye.

-berek

Anonymous said...

(without the extra spaces in the URL, how'd they get there?)

Anonymous said...

All true, Bruce.  Without doubt he's the greatest President this country ever had!!!  <gag>

That happy Chica,
Marcia Ellen

Anonymous said...

Berekhh is Kenn Lippert, who Old Hickory reader know as the provider of occasional guest-posts, now checking in with an AIM identity.

He suggested I might want to delete his first attempt with the HTML gibberish in it.  But I thought I would leave in there, (1) in hopes that it might contribute to addressing the issue which I'm sure others have encountered and (2) because I nearly always make a typo or two when I post comments and "misery loves company", as they say.

For those who don't remember Apple's heyday as the cutting-edge of coolness in things techie, that was from a famous ad they ran during the Super Bowl 20 or so years ago invoking the dystopia of George Orwell's "1984" with competitor IBM implicated as Big Brother and suggesting that Apple computers would empower ordinary people to overthrow it. - Bruce

Anonymous said...

Re my own last comment: the word "overthrow" hasn't gone on some Ashcroft Index of Banned Words or something, has it?

I mean, Zell Miller seemed to think last Wednesday that for the Democrats to even nominate a candidate to oppose Bush the Magnficent in an election was a subversive and treasonous act.  So who knows what's being banned these days?  Even if I was talking about a two-decades-old ad.

At one point in his speech Wednesday, Dick Cheney said, "For that reason, ladies and gentlemen, the election of 2004 is one of the most important not just in our lives, but in our history."

But he was creeping me out so badly after Zell's Anne-Coulterish rant, when Cheney paused momentarily after saying "the election of 2004," I was anticipating that he was going to say "have been postponed." - Bruce