Chuckie must be thankin' that John Kerry's election is a done deal. Cause he's figures the End of the World must be near: Dire Warnings 08/27/04.
Now, you might thank gittin' to play for Republicans in New York City this week would have Chuckie upbeat. But maybe the idea of going to New York City (New York City?!?!) just kinda got ole Chuckie down in the dumps. Chuckie's hyperpatriotism even seems to be flagging (pun, ouch!):
Iniquity stalks the streets of America. Drugs, murder, rape, robbery and home invasion just to name a few.
Greedy lawyers defend the ones who can pay, no matter how guilty they are, while they would not raise one manicured finger to defend the life of an unborn child who is going to have a pair of scissors stuck into its innocent skull.
A day of reckoning is fast approaching and believe me folks, it’s not something that the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals of California can reverse.
My beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, look up your redemption drawed nigh
Yes, "drawed nigh" is what he says. Chuckie has a bit of a problems with that there grammar stuff sometimes.
Chuckie says that there's an alliance between Iraq, Iran and Russia. (!?!) Russia's helping Iran build nuclear weapons, and Israel may attack Iran because of it, and this may git Russia so mad they'll attack Israel, and things will git really nasty, and the world will come to an end and Jesus will come again.
This will be a good thing for Christians. Everybody else will then be sent to Hail.
How does Chuckie know this is going on? How does Chuckie know that Iraq, which Chuckie's hero Bush the Hammer of Righteousness supposedly just "liberated," has hooked up with Iran and Russia to invade Israel and destroy the world?
Here's how: "Ezekiel 38 and 39. It tells of a day when practically the whole Muslim world, along with Russia will come against Israel." That would be the book of Ezekiel in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament.
Now, Ezekiel was a Hebrew prophet who lived in the early 500s BCE. Mohammed, the founder of Islam, lived from 570-632 CE. Kind of like, a millennium later, Chuckie. So it seems kind of unlikely that he would have been worrying about Muslim invasions.
Ezekiel lived at the time of the fall of Jerusalem before the armies of Babylon under Nebuchadnezzer II, after which most inhabitants of Judah were deported into exile in Babylon. That experience, it's safe to say, figured heavily in the prophecies of Ezekiel, which attempted to rally the Hebrews to stay true to their ancestral faith and to hope for deliverance and a return to their homeland.
Now Ezekiel 38 does mention Persia, a long-ago forerunner of today's Iran, where modern Persian is the predominent language. We read in that same chapter (King James version), "Surely in that day there shall be a great shaking in Israel; So that the fishes of the sea, and the fowls of the heaven, and the beasts of the field, and all creeping things that creep upon the earth, shall shake at my presence, and the mountains shall be thrown down, and the steep places shall fall, and every wall shall fall to the ground."
For his contemporaries, this would have resonated with the actual experience of the inhabitants of Israel during the Babylonian conquest, and echo strongly the experience of the northern kingdom of Israel (Samaria) in the Assyrian conquest over a century before.
Now, let give Chuckie and his fellow fundamentalist Protestant apocalypticists some credit. It takes quite a bit of imagination to read Ezekiel 38-39 and get out of it an alliance in 2004 between Iraq, Iran and Russia, an invasion of Israel by Russia and the Muslim hordes, and the end of the world.
Maybe Chuckie came across that same pamphlet I did not long ago, that says Ezekiel 38 and 39 are end-time prophecies of Russia attacking Israel because the "Meschech" mentioned there sounds kinda sorta like "Moscow." Plus - and Chuckie must have missed this - Matthew 24: 15-16 refers to "abomination of desolation," and the first four letters of "abomination" are also the first four letters of "A-bomb." And atomic bombs cause lots of "desolation."
But I guess having that kind of vivid imagination helps if you're going to be a faithful follower of the Bush Republicans.
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