Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Chuckie Watch 107: Chuckie says it's time to git tough in Iraq

Chuckie knows how to win that war in Iraq and the war on terrorism and everywhere else: Death of a Nation 07/01/05.  The nation he's talking about dying is America.  Chuckie says if we don't have even more wars the country will die.

And Chuckie has learned from history how to win wars.

Korea, we left the North in tact [sic] and now face a very real nuclear threat from a demented dictator.

Presumably he's talking about President Eisenhower who ended the Korean War with a ceasefire that is still in effect.  Actually, Chuckie, Gen. MacArthur was in the process of seizing North Korea when China intervened and forces the Army into the longest retreat in US military history.

There were grand strategists like Chuckie around in those days, too.  But they were so busy at the time huntin' Commies under every rock in the US that I guess they weren't able to git their point across to soft-on-Commies types like Dwight Eisenhower.  And besides, ain't "Eisenhower" some kinda German name?  What is that all about?

Vietnam, I won’t even go into that one.

He don't need to, because he's already done it in his immortal book of politcal analysis, Ain't No Rag.  We looked at Chuckie's analysis of the Vietnam War from that Regnery Publishing classic way back in Chuckie Watch 4:

We could have won that war , if it would have been fought on the battlefield instead of the halls of Congress and the Oval Office.

Now, I'm not quite sure how it is that the US could fight a war without the President and Congress being involved. But anyway, Chuckie says in his book:

In my book, when you go to war you shoot at the enemy every time you see him and you keep on shooting until he either surrenders or doesn't exist any more. You throw everything you've got at him every hour of every day until you grind him into the dust. Bomb him; shoot him; overrun his positions; cut his supply lines, and do it consistently until you pound him into submission.

Hey, we finally did that right in Iraq, didn't we?  We bombed him, we shot him, we overran his positions, heck far, we even stripped him nekkid and turned dogs loose on him to rip out chunks of his flesh.  And since the old government of Iraq "doesn't exist any more," we've succeeded!  Mission accomplished!

Of course, the "peace" is turning out to be a real bitch.

Back to Chuckie's July 1 column:

The first Gulf War, we pulled out and left Saddam in power and had to go back and do it again.

Well, yeah.  Gosh, we could have been bogged down in a counterinsurgency war in Iraq for 14 1/2 years by now instead of only 2 1/2, if those dumb generals and that wimp Old Man Bush had just taken Chuckie's advice.

Has anyone heard anything out of Kadhaffi lately? Mr. Reagan took care of that problem and we should have learned a lesson from it.

Chuckie seems to be under the impression that the Reagan administration ousted Muammar Qadaffi's regime in Libya.  Uh, Chuckie, I hate to tell you this.  But some of that stuff you see at WorldNutDaily and the John Birch Society Web site?  Not all of it is totally reliable.  Yes, yes, I know this comes as a shock to you.

Chuckie says there's plenty of enemies to fight right here in the good ole US of A:

While Aljazeera television is totally hostile to everything American, the terrorists have found a friend in our own national media.

And I must admit that ChuckieThought gets a bit dense for me on this point:

It’s time to turn the war in Iraq over to the military. They know what they’re doing, they and they alone know how to win it. It’s time to take the gloves off and ignore the media and politicians who spout off about things they know as much about as a hog knows about an airplane.

Chuckie, I'm pretty sure that the Army and the Marine Corps that have been, you know, fighting the war, are part of the military.  Besides, our generals say we're winning, we've been winning all along, and we're going to keep on winning, no matter how many years we have to stay there winning.

And didn't you hear Dear Leader Bush's speech last Tuesday?  He said the generals had all the troops there that they wanted.  Bush and Rummy say they're doing everything the military wants.

Chuckie, watching that there Al Jazeera TV seems to have confused even you.  I mean, you're arguing against what Bush the Magnificent, Liberator of Peoples and Hooder of the Unrighteous, is telling the nation!

I thank you better stick to FOX News and OxtContin radio from now on.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Chuckie says there's plenty of enemies to fight right here in the good ole US of A:"

Oh, it's hard for me to disagree with him on this one.  It's just that one of the enemies we have to fight here are people who think like him, and of course, the deified Bush.