Wednesday, June 1, 2005

Another "conversion" to the Grand Old Party of Bush and preventive war

I think this spoof of the phony "conversion narrative" that appeared in last week's edition of this paper is just hilarious: Why I'm joining the GOP: Leaving the left for fun and profit by Jeff Gillenkirk San Francisco Chronicle 05/29/05.

After a lifetime voting for and working for Democratic candidates and independents, I'm finally going to make the switch and become a Republican.

The reasons are many, not the least of which is age. I turned 55 recently and, having lived more than half my life, I can't afford to worry anymore about the other guy. It's time for me. ...

I want a party that doesn't worry about things before we have to. Republicans refuse to get hog-tied by theories such as global warming, ozone depletion, fished-out oceans and disappearing wetlands. The real problems -- if there are any -- aren't forecast to take hold for at least 50 years. So what do I care? I'll be dead.

As a Republican, I can swagger and clamor for war -- in Iraq, Afghanistan, Colombia, wherever -- even though I've never fought in one or even been in the military. I can claim that we're fighting for Democracy, ignoring reports of torture at Abu Ghraib, Bagram Air Base and Guantanamo Bay, and a spreading gulag of secret detention centers around the world.

Freedom, as every American should know after spending $300 billion for wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, isn't free.

I wonder if the Freepers will gush over this one like they did the one last week?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't think the F(c)reeps will be all that happy with this one, nope.  Speaking of Freepers, you know they must have flooded, en masse, the website for the Discovery Channel's "The Greatest American" contest.  Not only did Junior make it but so did his father and mother!