It's been a while since we checked in on ole Chuckie. But Chuckie's been bloviating away. But he's been a little subdued lately. Last time we caught up with Chuckie, he was demanding that the Army kill, kill, kill more foreigners.
But then he hit one of those upswings. I don't know if Chuckie himself has mood swings. But his Soapbox rant feature sure does. In So It's Come To This, I thought he was gonna unload about what a blankety-blank John Kerry is or something. But, instead, he was complaining about some people who won a car on Oprah and was griping because they had to pay taxes on it.
Uh, Chuckie, that kind of thing could blow your next book contract with Regnery! Chuckie, Republicans are always supposed to complain about having to pay taxes to support their country. Or their state, or their city, or for anything. Chuckie, these mood swings are gone ruin your image if you ain't more careful!
And I would have thought ole Chuckie would have been on a roll after watching the first Bush-Kerry debate. I mean, Chuckie, here's John Kerry the sworn enemy of God actually criticizing Bush the Magnificant and his holy works right there to his face. But Chuckie could barely work up any outrage in Make Up Your Own Mind. Chuckie even seemed to think the whole thing was kind of sissy:
The present format is a little panty waisted to say the least and is not a true debate. It’s more of an exam.
Let’s see some true colors, let’s have a good old-fashioned bloodletting and let each candidate have a chance to lay it on the line.
Okay, I guess calling for bloodshed at the presidential debates is kind of regular-ole-Chuckie-like. But he couldn't even seem to get very cranked up about the Liberal Press. He says that the stuff you hear on the teevee after the debate isn't all that good:
The thing is that you seldom if ever get any unbiased opinions anyway. Most all of these people have a dog in this fight and they want to convince you to support him. That’s what this is really allabout.
The concept of an "unbiased opinion" is kind of interesting, if you think about it. Incomprehensible, but interesting.
But when he looked at the Disparity between Dark Lord Dick Cheney and John Edwards, the worst he could think to say about Edwards was that Chuckie "found some contradictions if not hypocrisies in what he had to say." He thought Edwards was "a little scary" and "downright troubling."
A little scary? Downright troubling? Chuckie, talking like that you could qualify to be a Fox Democrat! Not that that bears any relation to the real thing, but still. What are the folks at Regnery going to think?
Not surprisingly, Chuckie has Apprehension for John Kerry. Surely Chuckie's gonna let The Terrorists' Favorite Candidate have it in this one. But no. Chuckie just says, well, whur's Kerry gone git all the money to pay for all these here librul programs he's a-been talkin' about? Oh, and the United Nations is mostly a "corrupt, inept bunch of American hating parasites."
Yep, looks like Chuckie's been on one of those "sunny side of life" upswings. Then in Poor Johnny, Chuckie does some Deep Thankin' about the education problem. As in "Johnny cain't read." Chuckie's got that one all figgered out, too:
This country needs to shake off the rotten dregs of the Dewey Decimal System and get back to basics.
Yeah, home come we need decimals with dew on 'em, anyhow? But, I would have thought Chuckie would have been all fired up to help his political idol Zell Miller prevent these Democrats from trying to overthrow our Commander-in-Chief.
In his latest, he's found some Good News For A Change. Chuckie's done heard from somewhere - he doesn't say where, though - that things are peachy-keen in Iraq now. He's even heard there are "80,000 Iraqi soldiers are patrolling the streets beside U.S. soldiers."
Dang! Chuckie oughta hire hisself out to the CIA! He's obviously got better sources than they do around there. Gosh, I never thought about Chuckie bein' fluent in Arabic, but maybe he is. Wonders happen every day. And Chuckie's been gittin' him more mail from them anonymous soldiers he likes to quote every now and then. This one's done told Chuckie:
“Don’t believe for one second these people don’t want us there, I have met many people from Iraq who want us there in a bad way. They say they will never see the freedoms we talk about but maybe their children will.
We are doing a good job in Iraq and I challenge anyone anywhere to dispute me on these facts.
If you are like me and very disgusted with how this period of rebuilding has been portrayed email this to a friend and let them know there are good things happening”.
Well, that settles it then!
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