Monday, March 21, 2005

Chuckie Watch 92: Chuckie on Russia and Israel

Yep, ole Chuckie's been a'thankin' about foreign policy: Small But Significant 03/14/05.

And, as you might expect, he brings his always-acute Patriotically Correct judgment to the subject.  Chuckie says:

Tiny little Israel is the lynchpin of future history on Planet Earth. The nations will be judged by the way they treat her. ...

I feel that the minute we turn our back on the Israelis America is subject to destruction, decay and very possibly total annihilation. ...

The Bible speaks of a time when Russia and the Islamic nations of the world will march against Israel. What will America do about it? Will we do Almighty God’s will and defend Israel or will we stonewall and debate it while Israel has the armies of the world at her door?

Will America turn tail and run or do something stupid like leave it to the United Nations, leaving Israel to fend for itself? I don’t pretend to be an interpreter of Bible prophecy but to me America’s role in future events is not defined in the Holy Scriptures. So I don’t know if we will continue to support Israel or if we’ll forsake her ...

No, ole Chuckie ain't interpretin' no "Bible prophecy" or nothin'.  Well, except for the parts before that where he is doin' it.  And with considerable imagination, I might add.

Since one will look long and hard to find the words "Russia" or "Islam" in the Bible, Chuckie's relying on some inspired insight here.

I might add that Chuckie's Christian Right friends do not extend "supporting Israel" to supporting Israel in meaningful peace negotiations.  No, the sooner Israel has most of its people slaughtered in a war, according to their "pro-Israel" belief, the sooner Jesus will come again.  Oh, and all the (few) surviving Jews will convert to Christianity, i.e., stop being Jews.

Chuckie also has him some interesting ideas about European politics:

There is already a rising tide of anti-Semitism in Europe and in my opinion you can look for cooler and cooler relationships between the United States and Russia. It’s truly alarming how many people swallowed the Russian line a few years ago when Gorbachev instituted Glasnost a lot of people thought that Russia was sincerely going to make an effort to become part of the democratic community. Well the election of Vladimir Putin should have convinced even the most skeptical among us that that was not their true intention. Putin is an ex KGB man and I personally think that he is more interested in maintaining power and building up Russia’s military capabilities than he is in establishing democracy.

That's right: Stalin, Gorbachev, Putin, it's all pretty much the same dirty Rooskies.  How did Chuckie figger all this out?  Well, I'm guessing it went something like this:

First, you take the King James Bible translation of the Book of Leviticus.  Then you read each word, but starting at the end and reading each word in reverse order.  You have to be careful not to read the words backward, though, or you'll git messed up.  Then you take the second letter of every 25th word you've read, and the third letter of every 77th word.  Then if you mix them all up, you can combine them to come out with a sentence that says:  "Gorbachev and Putin are dirty commie Rooski scoundrels.  Don't be fooled by them."

That Chuckie, he's just full of surprises.

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