Chuckie can sound like a pacifist at times (A Sad Day 01/13/06):
[T]aking it upon ourselves to decide who gets to live and who dies [is a] decision, in my belief, that is reserved for The Creator alone. ...
It is a sad day in this country when the taking of innocent life is one of the top priorities in the political arena. There is no pity, no compassion and no consideration. ...
We are playing with fire in this nation. Death is only the end of life as we know it and the beginning of eternity. ...
The Bible speaks of innocent blood crying out for justice. I don’t want any of that blood on my hands.
What this? Has Chuckie turned over a new leaf? He's worrying now about innocent civilians being killed by American bombs? That the judgment of God will fall on the heads of warmongers and torturers?
Um, maybe not. Chuckie was talking about abortion in that one. He's against that, he says.
But Chuckie's got kind of a different idea about how to deal with the threat from Iran that all good Republicans now consider terribly, terribly urgent. Back in 2002 when they were petrified about the terrible, horrible threat of Saddam's nonexistent "weapons of mass destruction", they didn't listen to those of us who said that invading Iraq would put the US and other countries in a weaker position to deal with more serious concerns with Iran.
Oh, well, Chuckie's just as sure he knows what to do about Iran as he was about Iraq (Complete, Total, Apocalyptic Insanity 01/16/06):
In my opinion Iran should be given about five minutes to give up their nuclear project and allow whatever verification is necessary or the western nations of this country should bomb their nuclear and military facilities every day, starting with the big bunker buster bombs, until there’s a hole in the ground big enough to bury the city of Teheran.
Chuckie is never perplexed over the question of "who would Jesus bomb?"
But, Chuckie, I understand your notion that it's the duty of good American Christian white folks to kill foreigners, 'cause that's what makes America great and all. And, of course, all real Republican white men know that cheering for killin' civilians is a true test of manhood.
But, Chuckie, what about all them unborn Iranian fetuses that would git killed if we bomb the way you say? I mean, it's one thing to sit on your overweight butt and watch big explosions on FOX News. I can understand how that would make you feel all manly and stuff.
But what about the innocent blood of those unborn Iranian babies? Do you want their blood on your hands? Obviously, you're fine with their mammas and daddys dying, because they're already evil foreigners. But the fetuses, Chuckie, the fetuses! Shouldn't you have some pity and compassion and consideration for the taking of innocent fetus life? Shouldn't decisions over who gets to live and who dies be reserved for the Creator alone?
ChuckieThought can be pretty challenging at times.
But Chuckie's been acting kind of strange lately. Git this: he's been writin' to Bin Laden!!! (An open letter to Bin Laden 01/20/06) Chuckie, I hope your Christian President doesn't have you snatched off the street and sent to Gitmo for compassionate interrogation over your communications with terrorists.
But Chuckie's challenging Bin Laden's theology about that whole virgins in heaven thing. He's been hearin' how recruits are promised sex in paradise if they die as martyrs.
And Chuckie don't like it:
Only God, and I did not say Allah, I said God, has anything to do with what happens in the afterlife. Probably the only thing I would agree with you about is that there is an afterlife but I’ll guarantee it has nothing to do with sex, virginal or otherwise.
Chuckie's a little rusty on his Arabic, I think. "Allah" is the Arabic word for God, which Arabic-speaking Christians use, as well. Oh, I forgot, Chuckie thanks Allah is a moon god.
But no sex in heaven?!? Oh, now that's a depressing thought.
And Chuckie's challenging his manhood, too:
In fact Mr. bin Laden, if you’re so certain about what will happen after a true Muslim believer gives his life for the cause, why don’t you strap on some dynamite and try it yourself.
Of course, Chuckie managed to avoid signing up for the glorious American crusade against godless Communism in Vietnam. In fact, he even admits he was against the war! But that's because he says the Americans weren't being tough enough.
But I'm sure Bin Laden's feelings are pretty hurt after hearing that Chuckie's calling him out this way. Boy, I bet he's ashamed of himself.
After that, Chuckie goes off into deep theology and ethics. I can't say I entirely follow him there. But that's not unusual. And it's not just that he closes his letter to Bin Laden with his customary "Pray for our troops". He expects Osama Bin Laden to pray for American troops? That's deep, Chuckie, deep.
You see Mr. bin Laden the only reason we haven’t blown people like you off the face of the earth is because we won’t resort to murder the way you do. We’re not willing to destroy the whole population of a city just to kill one person, but if you pull another stunt like 9-11,don’t be surprised if we start resorting to more desperate measures.
Wait, Chuckie, no innocent blood on our hands, blow holes in Iran big enough to dump Tehran into, not willing to blow up a whole city, though, but maybe we will anyway, even though we might kill unborn fetuses doing it. Chuckie's philosophical complexity is just too much for me, sometimes.
Well, if a lot of blowhard white-guy talk was going to defeat The Terrorists, they would have all been gone long ago:
But let me tell you something, there is nothing noble or even human about you. You are a scum sucking bottom feeder who takes delight in the suffering of innocent children and if you do carry out more attacks on America you will see the population of this nation rise up and demand your head and the head of all terrorists, even if it means leaving you nothing or nobody to hide behind.
America will be coming, and hell’s coming with us.
Wait, aren't we supposed to be on Heaven's side? We're going to bring Hail to Iran and slaughter whole cities to stop the suffering of innocent children?
I still think that when Chuckie talks to God that God is speaking ancient Hebrew and Chuckie sometimes has a hard time with the translation.
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