Wednesday, February 9, 2005

Chuckie Watch 87: Chuckie tells us about "real men"

Yep, two Chuckie Watches in one day!  Chuckie Thought is a gift that keeps on giving.

Besides admiring the guys in uniform at the Super Bowl, Chuckie's also been thankin' about Real Men 02/05/05.  But, heck far, we cain't define a "real man" without gettin' a bad woman into the picture, now can we, Chuckie?

I believe that a real man is always kind and courteous to the opposite sex. I know that opening doors for ladies or taking your hat off in their presence is not considered PC by the feminist crowd these days but to a lot of men it just comes natural and is a sign of respect not condescension.

You know, I've heard guys whining about this my entire adult life.  And I've actually run into quite a few feminists who we could safely describe as "strident."  But I've never heard a single one of them complain about the American custom of (as Miss Manners would say) gentlemen opening the doors for ladies.

This is one of them ole Southern "heritage" thangs that guys like Chuckie like to "honor."  That's dismissing something serious by reducing it to an issue of superficial manners.  As in, "I don't have anything against the nigras saying they ought to be allowed to vote.  But they shouldn't be so rude about it!"

But I may be the only guy that I know that this has really happened to, and more than once.  But not for the reason Chuckie's whinin' about.  My wife is from Austria. The conventional manners there calls for the gentlemen to enter a house or a building first with the lady following, and for the lady to leave the house first with the man following.

So for quite a while, until she got used to the frontier customs here in America, my wife would get irritated when I would hold the door for her to enter a house or a restaurant or whatever.  But not because she was promoting some counter-culture manners or something.  It was because she thought I was being rude or tacky in not following the conventional manners she was used to on that.

Sorry, Chuckie, I thank you may be misunderstandin' what's happening.  Maybe those were Austrian women who got irritated that you were opening a door for them.  Or, you know, if you smirk and say, "After you, little lady,"while you're holding the door, that might not go over so well, either.

Chuckie also thanks that "real men" have to be kind to children.  As we know, ole Chuckie is worried about child abuse, at least as long as it gives him the chance to fantasize about various ways an Evil Person can be tortured and killed.

I wonder what Chuckie thanks about his fellow Chrisitan fundamentalists who sell instruments online to help discipline children in the spare-the-rod-spoil-the-child philosophy: Christian crusaders go to battle over spanking: Tools of discipline horrify some of faithful San Francisco Chronicle 02/06/05.

To raise a child, one needs three invaluable allies: the Bible, the help of an extended family and "biblical-based resources" -- 9-inch-long spanking paddles of blue polyurethane, according to Steve Haymond from Bakersfield, who sells the paddles online for $6.50 apiece.

Twyla Bullock, in Eufaula, Okla., swears by the Rod -- a 22-inch, $5 white nylon whipping stick her husband designed and produced until recently. Named after the biblical "rod of correction," the Rod provides "a faith-based way to discipline children ... and train them as Christians," Bullock explains.

Obviously, not everyone thinks that's the ideal Christian approach.  But I wonder if that counts in Chuckie's view as being unkind to children.

Now, this may be a sign that I've become a jaded Californian.  But, you know, I just bet that not everyone who orders spanking paddles and nylon whipping sticks online is planning to use them for training their children.

Yep, that's ChuckieWorld:  Chuckie performing at the Super Bowl with breasts safely covered, feminists with bad manners, elaborate dismemberment fantasies, and spanky-spank for Jesus. 

Hmmm, it makes you think doesn't it?  I mean, Chuckie, Janet Jackson, paddles, nylon switches ... Can't you see Chuckie saying, "Janet, I've been a bad boy"?  No, no, I can't go there.  I'll give myself nightmares!

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