Tuesday, November 9, 2004

Chuckie Watch 73: Chuckie remembers the good ole days

Chuckie's gittin' all nostalgic on us as he thanks about Veterans Day comin' up. Veterans Day has got ole Chuckie reflecting on the happy times with his family:

I remember December 7th, 1941. I was 5 years old and it was a cloudy, blustery day in coastal North Carolina and I was sick with some childhood malady or another. Our family was gathered at my maternal grandparent’s [sic] on the Carolina Beach Road in Wilmington, North Carolina.

It was a festive time of year, with Christmas just around the corner. I recall having homemade ice cream and basking in the warmth of a loving family.

Then we were suddenly gathered around the big floor model radio in my grandmother’s living room where the news was coming over the air that Pearl Harbor was being attacked by Japanese bombers. That day was to change the United States of America forever.

Ah, yes, the good times.  Sittin' around with the family, listenin' to the nice old radio, war and killin' goin' around around the entire world.  Man, it don't git much better than that, does it, Chuckie?

Best of all, little Chuckie probably didn't hear a lot of squabblin' about the war.  (If he thinks hard, he might recall some bitching and moaning about gasoline rationing, but we'll let that slide.)  No, folks weren't quibbling about the cause.  Everybody was united in cheering to KILL them dang foreigners, God bless America!  And little Chuckie understood that because I bet his "maternal grandparent" or somebody explained it all to him.

But Chuckie just don't understand what's happened since then.  Chuckie didn't have those good warm-and-fuzzy feelings during Vietnam like he did when he was a five-year-old, because there were all sorts of Evil People out there who didn't explain things to him all nice and simple like his "maternal grandparent" in the Good Ole Days:

The Vietnam war, the one our troops fought in political handcuffs should be a testimony to the folly of letting politicians control the fighting of a war. Only the men and women who stand in harm’s way know what needs to be done at any given time and they should be able to carry on their job without interference from self-serving politicians making their uninformed criticisms from the safety of an easy chair in the nation’s capitol.

Thanks to the maniacal rantings of Jane Fonda, the poisonous rumblings of John Kerry and the sheepfold mentality of stoned out hippies these brave men who fought the war in Vietnam were called baby killers and spit on by people who didn’t even deserve to stand on the same street with them.

We now have sons and daughters in imminent danger from an enemy who respects no battlefields and has no honor.  Hate filled monsters who hide among the women and children and strap explosives to their bodies and walk among the innocent and only our military stands between them and us.

Chuckie just can't give up that thing about the spittin' and "baby killers" and stuff, can he?

And, golly, cheering for war and for killin' foreigners was just ever so much more fun when he had his "maternal grandparent" around to feed him homemade ice cream and explain things to him while helping him write his Christmas letter to Santa Claus.

I've never quite understood why our blowhard superpatriots can complain so mightily about the politicians supposedly holding back the soldiers in the Vietnam War, but somehow manage to blame the Democrats for that.  I mean, Nixon was president when most of the troops were pulled out, and Ford was there when Saigon finally collapsed.

And it doesn't seem to have bothered Chuckie very much that Bush the Magnificent made a crassly political decision to pull out of Fallujah this past April, and to time the current offensive right after the American election.

But I guess it's the same way that Chuckie tells us all to honor the veterans on Veterans Day, but the only actual veteran he manages to mention is the "poisonous rumbler" John Kerry.  And apparently the thing that gets him most excited about a day to honor America's veterans is having yet another chance to trash those mythical spittin' hippies.

But at least now I understand better why Chuckie is so enthusiastic to have wars that American soldiers can go kill and die in.  And why it doesn't bother him if the Republican president just makes up stories about "weapons of mass destruction" as the reason for the war.  Because heremembers a national day of horror, war and death like the day of the Pearl Harbor attack as a warm and cuddly time with his family eating homemade ice cream.  That explains a lot about Chuckie.

Maybe Chuckie should celebrate Veterans Day by havin' him some homemade ice cream and playing some tapes of inspiring moments of Rummy honoring our troops and their families.

No comments: