Chuckie Watch 46: Chuckie does foreign policy

Our ole buddy Chuckie's been thanking 'bout this here war in Eye-raq.  Chuckie thanks it's an Opportunity.

Actually, here's how Chuckie introduces it:

I don’t know how many times I woke up last night thinking about our troops in Iraq and the danger they are in. I would say a prayer and drift back off only to wake up again a little later to do the same thing.

A lot of people think that by going into Iraq we have motivated the terrorists in the Middle East. In my book it’s not so much a question of motivation as it is a matter of opportunity.

Provocation is not the point here and motivation abounds in the radical Islamic world as self serving old butchers and mad dog clerics promise young men who blow themselves up for their cause instant paradise and eternal sexual gratification with their own herd of virgins.

I hate that Chuckie is losing sleep because of those fantasies of soldiers, preachers with rabies and sex with virgins.  By the way, just what would "eternal sexual gratification" be, anyway?  And is that like repeated gratification, or just constant, unending gratification?

And does that mean repeated sexual encounters with virgins, or only that they're virgins when it all starts?  I guess there was going to be repeated sexual gratification for eternity with virgins, you would need a whole "herd" of them.  Or maybe they get "second virginity" like the Southern Baptists do if they're really, really sorry that they slipped up and did the Big Nasty without being properly wed.

Theology in ChuckieWorld is confusing.

Chuckie also says them there Muslims mistreat their women.  Unlike us, 'cause: "Here we cherish our women, put them on pedestals and they work alongside us in the market place enjoying equal rights and opportunities."

But Chuckie's got the military strategy for Iraq.  He says them evil terrorists are just trying to break the "will" of us good Americans. but what we gotta do is close them borders with Syria and Iran and git tough.  "The time has come to take off the gloves in Iraq and use whatever means necessary to get the job done and bring our troopshome. That is going to entail some pretty drastic measures and it is not going to be pretty."

Dang, foreign policy's easy in ChuckieWorld!  You got a problem?  Why, all you gotta do is git tough with them foreigners and show 'em who's boss.  Why, it's so dadgum simple even Chuckie can understand it!

But I'm starting to worry about ole Chuckie a bit.  He's already startin' to talk about brangin' the troops home.  Maybe his "will" is starting to quaver a little bit.  Oh, no, I git it.  He meant to say "brang 'em on", not brang 'em home.  Yeah, that's gotta be it.