Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Chuckie Watch 101: Chuckie tries to git outraged

Ole Chuckie seems to be havin' a kinna hard time workin' up outrage the last couple of weeks.  Maybe the grave responsibility of speaking for the troops in Afghanistan and Iraq has had a sobering effect on him.  Or not.

Chuckie was even goin' soft on Canada!  Chuckie says he just cain't believe them Canadians really hate America: Enmity or Illusion 05/10/05.  Shoot, they're practically Americans anyway, ain't they?

Chuckie went to all caps on immigration: OUT OF CONTROL AND EXPLODING 05/16/05.  No, it's not about the Iraq War.  It's about illegal immigration to America.  But despite the capital letters, ole Chuckie wudn't up to his usual level of outrage about that.  He grumps a little bit 'cause he says all these here politicians ain't doin' nothin' about immigration 'cause they're pandering to them there Hispanics.  Chuckie still ain't figgerd out how American agribusiness works, i.e., on illegal immigrant labor.  But he only managed a weak allusion to border vigilantes; he didn't make suggestions on various ways to do physical violence to immigrants or nothin' like that.  Heck, our Governor Schwarzenegger has been more pro-vigilante than Chuckie was in that one.

Chuckie tried to git worked up over Social Security: A View on Social Security 05/23/05.  But I guess even the talking points on FOX were too complicated for Chuckie on this one.  He got it that there's supposed to be some kind of crisis and all.  And it has to do with payments and money and savings accounts and the market and stuff like that.  But about the most indignant he can git on this one is to say Congress needs to "stop horsing around."

But Chuckie's also been hearin' about that there Newsweek article.

And Chuckie don't like it.

Chuckie says (in Propaganda 05/20/05) that The Media ought to be darn sure they've got "bonafied" facts before they publish something.  I mean, look, if a guy like Chuckie can be so thorough in his fact-checking, why cain't they?

Chuckie says this was just Newsweek's "latest attempt to discredit our Armed Forces."  Not that Chuckie ever reads Newsweek, now, so don't y'all go gittin' the wrong impression.  In fact, Chuckie says, "I rarely come in contact with it except maybe in a dentist’s office. And by the way I never watch Bill Moyers and I think the New York Times is boring."  Yeah, I know what you mean, Chuckie, they use all them big words and stuff.  Heck, if a word takes more'n two syllables to say, I thank it's kinna suspect, myself.

Maybe we should have a contest:  Where does Chuckie git his news? Where? Where? Where?

Chuckie's also harshin' on "Spikey" Mikey Isikoff, who co-authored the retracted article: "In fact Isikoff and company make me sick."  Uh, Chuckie, you know Spikey was one of the main reporters pushing the Clinton sex scandals, don't you?  Oh, but "9/11 changed everything," that's right.

And there's some other stuff about Muslims and feces, so Chuckie managed to git on a roll about that one.

But I'm thankin' if Chuckie gits so upset about reporters gittin' stories wrong about the military, he must be pretty ticked off over the Pat Tillman thang, huh?  Chuckie got all worked up when he heard some Puerto Rican graduate student was dissing Tillman.  Man, think how mad he must be at hearin' the Pentagon lied about Tillman's death:  Tillman's Parents Are Critical Of Army:  Family Questions Reversal On Cause of Ranger's Death by Josh White Washington Post 05/23/05.  Not only that, The Media published this wrong information based on the Pentagon's statements.  Like Chuckie says, "you would think that the media would be extremely careful about what they reported, vetting every detail down to the inth degree."  And here they printed the wrong information based on something so obviously unreliable as the Pentagon'sofficial statements!

I bet Chuckie takes his next Soapbox rant to tell that there Media what he thinks about that outrage!

No comments: